April 26, 2020

how to include mum

I am often asked, "How can I include mum in my wedding ceremony?" With dad walking his daughter down the aisle, many brides want to find a way to give mum a significant role in the wedding ceremony too.

There are quite a few ways to include mum and make sure that she feels extra special on your wedding day. Here are a some of my favourites:

13 Ways to Include Mum in Your Wedding  Ceremony.

1. The Mothers Bridal Walk

It can be lovely to have your mothers walk down the aisle with you as part of the processional.   As the music starts, both mum’s walk down the aisle together. A kiss for each other at the end of the aisle before taking their seats; then the processional begins.

2. The Collective Giving Away

Both mum and dad of the Bride (or Groom) walk down the aisle together and when the question is asked, “Who presents Jane to be married to Robert?” both say “We do”.

3. Giving the Bride Away

Many couples enjoy a very traditional Processional where Father walks the Bride down the aisle. But when a bride does not have the luxury of having her father with her, mum becomes the obvious choice. It is a very special and proud moment for you both.  

4. The Blessing

Why not  include a special segment in the ceremony that is all about the parents?  Thank them for their influence, guidance and love over your lifetime. Make a particular point of  honouring your mothers. Then have them come forward and kiss the bridal couple as a symbol of their blessing to the marriage.

5. The Ritual  

Apart from the swapping of rings, some couples opt for a wedding ritual of some sort. For example;

  • Hand-fasting Ritual where the couple’s hands are bound together and a knot is tied to signifying them being bound together for life as husband and wife.  The role of 'Tying the Knot' for the couple could be performed by either one, or both, mums.  
  • Sand Ceremony where both mums of the couple can be asked to pour sand to represent each of their families.
  • Spanish “Lasso” Ceremony as part of the ceremony, each mum would take a side of the 'Lasso' and place it on their son's or daughter’s shoulders. 

Sand Ceremony

6. The Reading  

Mum could be asked to do a reading at the wedding.  Something along the lines of:

REading example

7. Present the Rings

At the part of the ceremony where the bridal couple exchange their rings, each mum could be asked to come forward and present the ring to their son or daughter.  Each ring could be housed in its own special box to be given to mum to have as a keepsake..

8. Rose Ceremony

After the ceremony has been completed and the legal paperwork has been signed, some couples will choose to give each other a rose as their first gift of love.  As the newly weds are introduced and they walk down the aisle together, they give their rose to their mother. Mum can then take this rose, have it dried, framed, and kept as a token of their love.  

9. Legal Witness

Giving your mother the honour of being your witness on the legal paperwork would make them feel very special indeed. This certificate is a lifetime memento of your special day, and has your mum’s signature there forever.  

10. Bridal Party

One of my Brides actually chose to have her mother as one of her bridesmaids. This is extremely unique. She had such a wonderful relationship with her mum, not only as a mother but as a friend, so having mum as part of her bridal party was an easy choice for her.

11. First Kiss, Last Kiss

Generally speaking, your mum is the first one to give you a kiss when you are born into this world. At a specific time in the ceremony, we could give your mum the opportunity to give you the last kiss before you take your vows to become husband or wife.  This is also a special moment to honour all that your mum means to you. It is especially beautiful if we keep this as a surprise! There’s never a dry eye in the house!

12. Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue 

Mum could give you some jewellery to wear. You could remodel her wedding gown. Maybe borrow something that she holds dear to her – perhaps something she wore to her own wedding. 

wedding tradition items | Joyce Mathers Celebrant

My Precious Traditional Wedding Items

13. In Remembrance

If mum is no longer with you, there are a number of ways  to honour her in the ceremony:

  • Light a candle in her honour
  • Mention her in the ceremony
  • Have a photo of Mum on a chair at the ceremony
  • Place a photo of Mum on the Signing Table
  • Have a photo of Mum or hang some of her precious jewellery on your bouquet.
  • Wear a particular piece of jewellery that was special to Mum

One final suggestion. When getting yourself ready for your big day, try to have a special moment with your mum. Just the two of you together; have a laugh; cry happy tears; just enjoy that personal time together. These are the very special times that create everlasting memories.  

There are so many different ways to to include mum in your wedding ceremony and to honour her. I would love to hear if you did something a little bit out of the square!  Drop me a comment be;ow and let me know.

What ever you decide, I wish you all the best!

Joyce.

About the author

Joyce is one of Perth's most highly rated and best loved Celebrants. She is widely regarded, by both peers and clients alike, as a caring and compassionate person, and a consummate professional. Her philosophy is simple, "Deliver a magical, meaningful, and memorable experience for my clients and their guests. Always!"

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